View source for Snowbound Blood: Volume Nine/Transcript

{{Stub}}

== Volume Nine Start ==

The gameboard is falling into place.

Figures connected by patterns beyond their comprehension move to their positions, factions come together and opponents are pitted against each other.

The playing field has never been level — but did you ever think it would be? That is not the game at play here. 

No, the rules of this game are too complex for you to divine, and unknowable stakes hang in the balance. The resolution of this contest will ripple across a universe far vaster than you have ever suspected.

Perhaps it's for the best that you do not realise your importance. It is a heavy burden to bear, and you already have plenty of those, don't you?

Now, we find ourselves at a turning point. Two players prepare their next moves.

==Glomer Hicner==

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 12.Kc2 ...And you're absolutely positive the sigil you found belongs to Noxious? ...Nf6}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 13.e5 Without a hint of conspiracy or shadow of a doubt? ...Nd5}}

Your partner (conversational and occupational) jogs up to your side once he's finished — direct quote — "crossing knots 'fore facing tots."

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Trust me, this is totes legit. I know it sounds kinda sketch, but it's the real deal. †† }}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: ††† One-hund-ten percent, we're about to blow this fuckin' frozen soda treat stand. †††}}

You wince as he drops that curse so close to the underground. ''Please'', you try to telepathically impart, ''keep it clean down there.''

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † ...You're lookin' at me funny. Some'n wrong with talkin' explosives with the little ankle biters? †}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 14.Nd3 Necron, if you're going to be accompanying me to the reduplication caverns, you need to be on your absolute best behavior. ...f5}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 15.exf6 And that, quite notably, is a very big "if." This is one of the most guarded areas in all of Repiton. ...Nxf6}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 16.h3 You're not a jadeblood, you're not an Enthal, and you are most certainly not a child. It's a miracle ''I'' am permitted to enter. ...Qf5}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 17.hxg4 Do you know the amount of paperwork I'm obligated to fill out for as much as five minutes at the entrance? ...Nxg4}}

Necron gives your rhetorical question some thought. You quirk a brow in his direction before deciding to speed this exchange along.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 18.Rxh6 Keep your mouth clean, is what I'm saying. Unless you'd like a personal talking to from Ms. Hekrix herself. ...Nxh6}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Oh, solid! You'll be able to nosh a twelve course meal off my carb palette, promise. ††}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † You know, 'fore it slips my noggin, I thought of a gnarlier way to spin the tale behind me finding that punk aaaa... †}}

You shoot him an ice-cold glare and he scrambles to stick the landing.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Aaaassassinatin' punk's sigil. Heh. Yeah, totes what I was going for there. †}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Anyway, get this, partner... †}}

You have heard it thrice already and really don't need yet another rerun of these events clogging your memory.

As thankful as you are for your PERFECT RECALL, it can sometimes be a double edged sword in your life.

...Assuming it works as intended, that is. You’re trying to get better at not conceptualizing such things about yourself as "perfect", even if you did once take pride in the idea.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 19.Bxf4 Listen, it's quite alright. I promise the story was sufficiently thrilling the first three times. ...Nf7}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Oh ''pshaw'', it don't count as three if you didn’t hear me. You just get so lost in that head of yours sometimes, you don’t even listen! †}}

You try to protest this injustice, but Necron raises a cold, metallic finger up to your lips to shush you. Something inside you shrivels up in distaste.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† I'm serious. If I bite it, I'm gonna need your retelling to be up to snuff. The scene was mammoth as all get out! ††}}

Sigh. You don't actually sigh, but let the record state that you're emotionally exhausted enough to sigh.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † So here's how it goes down. †}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Lovemuffin got an email filled with all kindsa scrambled garbo. Not a real word in the whole doc. Couldn't understand jack, myself. ††}}

It figures that Noxious would be able to get past something as simple as a contact block.

Lovemuffin, you note, is Oricka. The Necron rule of thumb is that any unassigned pet names automatically fall to his matesprit.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † But you know my guppy, sharp as sawblades! Cracked the code in no time flat. †}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† She was all, tip-tap-typing, and then she was all... ††}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †††† "I'm in. :darkened_lenses:" ††††}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 20.Qf3 Excuse me. When do I get to hear these alterations you mentioned? This is all painfully familiar so far. ...Kc8}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † I'm getting there, I'm getting there! †}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Look, do you wanna pay due respect to my possible future corpse or nah? ††}}

''Sigh.'' For real, this time.

You get the feeling that he's about to ask where he was before you interrupted him, so you preemptively tell him he was headed to the ruins of the Tom Cruise Memorial Theatre I.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Right! She cracked the code and sent me to check out the coordinates she scavenged. Guess Noxious was a total Tom Cruise nut. †}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Nutty enough to try and fuuu—mess up an already ruined theatre, that is. There was a radio buried under some of the rubble that turned out to be a bomb. ††}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: ††† I would've kicked it for real if the countdown had been a second less. Defused it in the nick of time. †††}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† I'd seen the model before, so I wasn't exactly... ††}}

Here we go, it's time for the punchline you're more than familiar with. The answer is so ingrained in your mind that you can't help but blurt it out with him.

{{VE quote|secily|SECILY}} & {{VE Quote|necron|NECRON}}: {{VE Quote|secily|21.Nxc7 ''Tuning out.'' ...Bb7}} {{VE Quote|necron|†† ''Blown away.'' ††}}

Wait. What?

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 22.Qg3 I thought you'd said— ...Qg6}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Told you I made changes, didn't I? There it is. "Blown away" works a million times better, don'tcha think? †}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Before it burst, though, it croaked somethin' out in that janky robot voice. ††}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †††† "Break down in the database." ††††}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† I'd bet my life that it means the reduplication records. Got a hunch there's some kinda double entendre with the whole ''breaking down'' thing. ††}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Sigils got themselves some associated meanings, right? I heard a thing or two 'bout there being a buncha concepts linked to them, and that sounds like just the kind of ancient stuff those guys would keep on hand. ††}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: ††† That, or he's wrecked shop down there. Which means we should deffo investigate anyways, just to be safe. †††}}

Necron continues to recite the aftermath of his tale, going into the excruciating details of the medical attention he received from Oricka, which you don't really need to hear again.

You're honestly skeptical about there being any immediate danger inside the caverns. That would be a severe crisis, if true, and everything appears to be functioning as normal.

Necron's hunch doesn't entirely convince you either, but Noxious is unpredictable above all else.

You're mostly taking Necron along for technological assistance, if the need for it arises. You and computers don't bode well, and he's picked up a thing or two from his matesprit.

Alright, he's past the gory surgery pun, which means this particular topic is over.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † ...really put the ''surge'' in ''surgeon.'' †}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† So? The new punchline is pretty boss, right? ††}}

At this point, you're familiar enough with Necron to know which way leads to the path of least resistance. 

You give him a non-committal nod and stuff your hands in your pockets.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 23.Nxa8 I'll admit, the new version is far more thematically appropriate, but only from an objective standpoint. I enjoyed the humor. Are you finished? ...Bxa8}}

He is. Thank the gods.

You take a deep breath, put on your best professional look of neutrality, and nod in the direction of the cave entrance.

The accouchement golems standing guard over there have probably been incredibly suspicious of you for the past ten minutes. Not the best start, but what can you do. 

The two of you stop six feet in front of the constructs. You calmly endure their robotic staredowns and ignore your technophobic nerves with poise and grace.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 24.Re1 Secily Iopara. I'm here for a priority Aleph case. ...Qxg3}}

There's a low whirring as their processors take this information in. Yes, you sure as hell are Secily Iopara, and this sure as hell is the most important mission of them all.

Necron entirely ignores your earlier insistence that you do the talking and strolls up to introduce himself, complete with an offered handshake of his metal hand.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 25.Bxg3 Nec— ...Ncd8}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Necron Exmort, I'm with the genius over here. How's it hangin'? †}}

There's no dramatic build up to the negative-sounding chime that blasts from the speakers in their torsos, as the two of you are flatly denied entrance.

God ''damn'' it.

They swivel their heads toward each other, in a grim reminder that you absolutely hate listening to these things. Their local communication sounds like a tinny version of nails on a chalkboard.

Necron, however, is only dealt a blow to his emotions.

This isn't a matter you're going to take lying down, though. You clear your throat and grab their attention once more.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 26.Bh4 With all due respect, his accompanying me is no light decision. He is a vital asset to the case and absolutely must come with me. ...h6}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 27.Re7 He's fully aware of the importance of keeping to himself, and I'm sure you'll find that I've accounted for the possibility of an appropriate third party in my submitted paperwork. ...Nd6}}

The following series of displeased clicks makes you clench your fists behind your back. You had a feeling this particular leg of your mission would turn out this way, but you keep pressing.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 28.Nf4 I am the ''chief regulator'', and I will have you know that I am perfectly qualified to select my own investigative partners. ...N8f7}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 29.Bd3 Would you like me to call your superiors and explain on your behalf why you played a part in the failure of this case? I am just one phone call away from— ...Bb7}}

You feel a metallic hand clap down on your shoulder, freezing you in your tracks. Your blade hand twitches, as it always does when you're seconds away from pulling it out.

For a moment, you almost forget these intimidation tactics don't work on machines.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Look, Ses, it's fine. I get it. Just go on ahead without me, I'll wait for you outside. ††}}

Normally, you'd be ecstatic at the idea of doing things solo — that's how you've operated for sweeps — but the notion of leaving Necron behind at this junction twists something in your gut.

Marginally, you mean. You're not ''that'' close. But you... think you're close enough that you feel— 

Something.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 30.g4 ...Fine. I'll see you soon. ...Bf3}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 31.Ng6 Don't do anything stupid out here while I'm gone. ...Re8}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: ††† Don't worry none 'bout that! Remember to make the right call, Secily. Hang loose. †††}}

Necron raises his hand up in the universally understood signal for hanging loose. You know, the one you make when you're mimicking a phone with your ha—

When he winks at you, it clicks.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 32.Rxe8+ I'll keep in touch. ...Nxe8 ½-½}}

With that, he saunters off, letting you pass through security with the only added hurdle of having your weapons confiscated.

You give Proserpina one last longing glance as you step into the elevator.

...

All at once, you're smacked in the ears with the cries and rampant laughter of all sorts of kids, in all sorts of colors.

This sweep's batch sure is lively. They must have had a larger sample size than usual.

Thankfully, your entry into the CLASS PLAYROOM is but a blip on the radar. All of the young trolls are content to mind their own kid business.

On top of that, you don't see any teachers around. The closest thing to adult supervision you can find is some kind of life-sized Bart Simpson-themed jungle gym in the corner.

If you're quiet, you should be able to get through without alerting anyone. You may have filed your papers for cavern entrance, but the records room is a little above your level of authority.

Slowly, you inch your way around the perimeter of the room, taking great care to look as inconspicuous as possible. Which is, admittedly, not much.

You are nothing but sharp edges, extremely out of place in this bright and harmless playroom. To think these places used to be ''war zones.''

Somehow, you manage to catch Sabine's insignia garishly graffitied on a board to your right and sigh. That kid sure loves his neon. This place must have been an inspiration for him.

You keep hugging the wall, headed toward the door by the far corner. You should be able to scout your—

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|??????: pssst}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|??????: hey uh can i talk to you for a second}}

You freeze in place at the sound of someone much older than you expected. 

Figures. You were hoping to make it through without incident — wishful thinking.

Slowly, you turn around to face them.

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: youre secily riGht}}

What the hell is this.

You barely keep yourself from gasping at the sight of a very alive and very moving Bart Simpson.

There was a person ''in'' that thing the whole time???

Ugh. It looks... unsettling.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 1.e4 I. Uh. Yes. Yes I am. I'm here on official business. This is— ...c5}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: yeah i}}

They cut themself off with a big, long yawn that lasts about five seconds longer than the typical one does.

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: i know who you are chief reGulator ive heard the whole nine expanses about you}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: the thinG about bytcon and endari is that they talk a ''lot''}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: word spreads around fast between us for better or worse}}

Wait a minute.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 2.Nf3 You're telling me you're another one of those "Boys" I keep finding myself having to deal with? ...Nc6}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: the four and only}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: and before you ask id like to Make a few thinGs clear}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: the least of My priorities beinG how you even Got here in the first place because iM Most definitely not paid enouGh credit to care}}

Well, that's fortunate, you guess. Still, you can't help but feel offended at how cavalier he's being about his position, on Hamifi's behalf.

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: okay so forGet everythinG youve heard about how we Got our naMe because its all a heapinG pile of nonsense GarbaGe}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: no bytcon didnt win a Medal and no endari didnt see the naMe foretold in the stars and ''no'' crytuM wasnt holdinG a sword and recitinG—}}

You sigh, rubbing a temple.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 3.d4 Stop talking. I assure you I wasn't going to ask about that at all. ...cxd4}}
BART?: yeah you and literally everyone else lMao

It's very strange, not being able to see his face as he's talking. His voice isn't giving you much to work with other than "exhausted."

He's also talking to himself. A lot. It makes you wonder how any of these Boys manage to engage in conversation with each other in a timely fashion.

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: nobody should care because theres not even a story behind it. "the boys" was just a backup naMe we used due to Group indecision}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: thats leGitiMately all there is to know thats it freeze fraMe and roll credits}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: its curtains the whole daMn thinG}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: turnin eat your blood puMper out because were starrinG on whose line with fraser}}

You give him a blank stare as he slowly descends into a barely contained turmoil of his own making.

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: i uh}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: i wanted to be an actor}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: but nope iM stuck as the wriGGlinG day entertainMent for these punkrats}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: or as iM contractually obliGated to call theM: "treasured Guests"}}

Okay, that's quite enough of that, you think. As deeply fascinating as this man's failed career plans sound, you have essential reduplication records to raid.

You start to back away, slowly, hoping he won't notice you moving a hair at a time.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 4.Nxd4 There's a wriggling day, is there? Please, tell me more. ...g6}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: Man i dont know if there even is one today. iM usually forced to perforM anyway so i stopped keepinG track}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: its like nobody around here has little enouGh diGnity to put on an uGly cartoon Mascot suit}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: i know! real shocker}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: careful you better pick your jaw off the floor before soMe snotnubbed preadolescent rollerskates over it}}

You're almost there. Your hand is on the handle and boy are you glad he just keeps talking. You can slip away and leave, uh, "Bart" to his duties the moment he looks the other way.

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: and then they have the nerve to call Me a substitute teacher like theyre not perfectly aware that—}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: okay i know youre busy but like you can just say that you need to leave instead of backinG away like iM tryinG to kill you}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: you really cant be sneakinG around Me when My Moirail is a fuckinG MaGician}}

You know what, you don't even know what you were thinking, trying to vanish right in front of his eyes. The suit must be throwing you off.

Well, if he's going to keep being a thorn in your side, you figure you'll at least make him a useful one.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 5.c4 Very well. ...Bg7}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 6.Be3 You are going to tell me how to gain access to the populace database. ...Nf6}}

You level him with one of your best intimidating, official stares.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 7.Nc3 It's non-negotiable. ...Ng4}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: sounds wronG considerinG i havent seen the records rooM actually but alriGht}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: question}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: More of a stateMent really}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: i dont care at all about what youre doinG}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 8.Nxc6 You're aware that I'm the chief regulator. It is undoubtedly in your best interest to cooperate. ...Nxe3}}}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: yeah thats what you all say when you need us to do soMethinG we dont wanna do}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: you really are a leGit reGulator iM sorry for ever doubtinG your skills}}

He says it with enough derision to make your expression sour.

Whatever. If he hasn't seen the database, then he's of even less use to you than before.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 9.Nxd8 In that case, I've other people who can assist me. Good day. ...Nxd1}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: well la-dee-da if your secret assistant is so useful to your Mission then why didnt you brinG theM in with your fancy pants security clearance}}

Ah. Slip of tongue. Your eyebrow twitches in irritation.

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: thats a rhetorical question iM not invested in this scenario in the sliGhtest}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 10.Nxd1 It's none of your concern, as a matter of fact, so it works out for us both. ...Kxd8}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: okay so youre sayinG you tried and failed}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: (story of My life lMao)}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: bet ten loops you tried to walk riGht in with theM before the GoleMs showed the poor sucker the door}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 11.Rc1 ''None of your concern.'' ...b6}}

You can tell you replied just a hair too quickly as soon as the words leave your mouth. Not that it matters. You are still here on official business.

You turn around and prepare to shut the door on him, but something he says catches your attention.

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: Man wouldnt life be so Much easier if you could just Get theM inside soMehow}}

He says it with the precise amount of forced wistfulness needed to convey that he's offering you a deal. You pause, then you curse under your breath before turning toward him again.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 12.Bd3 You have ten words to explain yourself. ...Bb7}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: i can sMuGGle theM in if you take over for Me}}

You squint at him.

Even with his previous carelessness, you're stunned to see a jadeblood make such an offer.

You know that's his caste, for the record, due to his being neither an Enthal nor a child. Accouchement golems can't speak your language, so they're also off the table. Process of elimination.

You make a mental note to let Hamifi know about this little... attitude as soon as you're out of here.

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: do i Get to explain the terMs and conditions or are you just Gonna keep GlarinG at Me}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: youre not MeltinG the bart suit with whatever eye lasers you think you have lady this thinG absorbs heat like no ones business}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: for the record this deal May very well leave you broken by the end of it on several eMotional and psycholoGical levels}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: better Get used to the ripe stench of sweat and fear because it will Most definitely replace a Majority of your priMary Gray Matter functions}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: full disclosure its Mostly Gonna be sweat}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 13.b3 Ugh. Stop wasting my time. Tell me what I need to know. ...f5}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: you see this}}

Bart(?) motions over to the rest of the playroom. It's every jade's ideological paradise — a full gaggle of kids, safe and sound.

Normally, classes are split between the higher and lower shades — mainly just for ease of teaching physiological and social differences. 

Jades and sea dwellers, on the other hand, are rare enough to get their own separate classes. "Honor students", as the official designation goes. At playtime, though, they all converge.

The only thing missing from this perfect picture is a teacher explaining something academy or safety-related.

...And the mandatory Cha Cha Slide time. There's always a required level of Cha Cha Slide competency for these kids to worry about.

Despite it all, Bart(?) is showing the place off with the same enthusiasm one would harbor for a garbage dump.

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: this is the first circle of My own personalized hell}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: i have to watch and entertain these "treasured Guests" so i cant leave this place}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 14.exf5 Then why aren't you currently participating in your duties? ...Bxg2}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: iM on break riGht now}}

But... he's still here. He was being crawled all over.

He answers your question before you can properly formulate it.

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: if the Grubs are left totally unattended haMifi is Gonna turn Me into pre-particalized cubed Meat}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: she just... knows soMehow}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: she always knows}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: but thats where you coMe in}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: if you wear the bart suit youre halfway there to beinG a perfect replica of Me}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: (lose your faith in trollkind and youre the other half coMplete lMao)}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: honestly takinG care of these little Guys isnt even all that hard they only ever want like three thinGs anyway}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: suGar, stiMulation and siMpsons shit}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: the only solace i find on the daily is hopinG that our ancestors suffered just as hard as we did dealinG with theM}}

This is the most ridiculous undercover mission plan you have ever witnessed and your acting chops are still abhorrent, but you'll take what you can get.

Besides, you have some experience caring for grubs. You think you can handle grubsitting. Even if they're technically a little older than grubs by this point.

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: and while youre keepinG these volatile brats sated i head out with a biGGer costuMe and sneak your partner in}}

All things considered, it sounds vaguely reasonable. You have your doubts it'll function as planned, but it's not like you have any moral objections.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 15.Rg1 Fine. But what's the catch? What are you asking for in return? ...Bc6}}

You somehow get the impression that he's giving you a blank stare.

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: uh what are you talkinG about}}

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: did i not Mention that i Get to leave My post}}

Doesn't he just sound like Employee of the Blink material. You’re sure Necron would want to have some words about his work ethic.

You give your new accomplice a nod that says ''yes, you're willing to do this.'' He brushes past you and into the break room.

{{VE Quote|#FF4200|BART?: cMon the suits are in here. cant chanGe around theM or else theyll find out that barts not real}}

You never did see the point of lying to kids about this sort of thing, but you shake those thoughts and follow him inside.

The break room is far less chaotic than the play area. Well... in comparison. By itself it's still a bit of a sty.

You close the door behind you just in time to witness Bart decapitating himself.

Man, it's hitting you just how ''big'' this thing's head is, now that the troll underneath isn't wearing it anymore.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: iM GloMer btw}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: not that its any of YOUR business either but tellinG people that My naMes nunnya biznis is GettinG kind of old since they usually believe Me}}

Glomer is already getting rid of his costume, which you suspect is a bigger source of joy to him than he's letting on. You decline to comment on the matter and take the head from his hands so he can unzip himself.

You stare into those bulbous, lifeless eyes, trying to muster the courage to don the mask for yourself. You're mostly just afraid it will snag on a horn.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 16.Ne3 You're sure this will fit? I'd really rather not get it stuck. I like my dignity just fine where it is. ...Be5}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: fun fact actually}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: bart siMpson was desiGned to have a biG head because he was oriGinally Gonna be a live action character so they had to fit an actors horns inside the Mask}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: Guess they just Grew attached to the elonGated head cuz it Gave the extra benefit of MakinG his facial expressions More apparent with the new proportions when he turned into a cartoon instead}}

As off-topic as this is, it's admittedly somewhat fascinating. You glance at Glomer's horns and nod with a neutral hum. Interesting move.

Glomer soon sheds his suit in full, and you glance back at the window in the door that's exposing you both to the children that still don't know that Bart's not real. And here you are, holding his head.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 17.fxg6 I'm no schooling expert, but I do find it curious that the break room is so... connected to the playroom. You're not worried about people seeing you through the windows? ...hxg6}}

You've started to dress yourself by reverse-engineering the process you just saw. It's not bioscience, but it is a little bit embarrassing.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: nah its a one-way Mirror they cant see shit in here}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: they want us to be able to scout the rooM for danGer in case of eMerGencies but theres not been an incident in sweeps}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: you know what the last one was?}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: a God daMned fuckinG skulltitan burrowed its way up froM the core}}

Glomer's rooting around in the closet for something. The bigger outfit that he's going to use to sneak Necron in, you assume. 

You should probably let Necron know about that, actually.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: that uGly pile of niGhtMares barGed riGht in and turned the whole place into beef jerky}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: killed a few kids and teachers in the process}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: i think it took a little clayblood Girl? we dunno what the deal was with that but she was never seen aGain, at least not officially}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: just had to assuMe she was as Good as dead}}

For someone who was complaining about Bytcon and Endari being so talkative, he sure is happy to run his mouth.

You get the impression that he doesn't usually have the chance to speak his mind like this — especially with such a colorful vocabulary going on.

You're still working on fitting your arms into the outfit by the time Glomer emerges in a uniform even more absurd than the one he was wearing earlier.

You somehow recognize it as Bart's lusus, Santa's Little Helper, despite your complete lack of interest in the show. There's enough room for a second person in the back, which currently paints a sad, deflated picture.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 18.Rxg6 Don't you think it's going to be suspicious, exiting with two working legs and coming back with four? The guards aren't fools. ...Bxh2}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: no no no check this out}}

There's some shuffling, and then the sound of wooden stilts clacks against the floor as the empty, sagging space in the back starts to fill up.

He parades around the room a little. Sure enough, the suit looks well occupied.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: yeah its a two peep costuMe but they never actually Give Me a partner to work this thinG}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: i just kinda fiGured it out i Guess}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: God itll be a relief to actually have soMeone else in here for once}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 19.Ke2 Impressive. Just make sure you don't arouse any suspicion. ...e6}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 20.Rg4 I am putting a lot of frankly unwarranted trust in you. If you let me down, you will be hearing from me again. ...Rf8}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: oh nooo consider Me spooked to shit or whatever}}

Alright, you're both suited up. There's just one more step before your disguise is complete.

===Put on the mask.===

The first thing you notice is your limited vision. You should be able to avoid colliding with obstacles, but it's still mildly inconveniencing.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: hMM}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 21.Be4 That sounds like a bad "hmm". Does it not fit properly? Do I have it on incorrectly? ...Bxe4}}

Unfortunately, the one-way mirror Glomer mentioned earlier is the wrong way around for you to get a good look at yourself. Glomer shakes his head and sighs.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: how do i put this delicately and also in terMs you wont kill Me for}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: you look way too straiGht edGe for the part}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: put your back way less into it. stop puffinG your chest out. let your posture be lost to the void}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: or dont idfk kids are duMb and wont notice}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: i Mean you definitely dont have My voice so were probably fucked anyway but ill enjoy the extended break while it lasts}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: Good luck out there, My condolences etc etc}}

And with that, Glomer marches towards the door you both came through, only to come to a stop right in front of it.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: uh}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: could you uM}}

You get the message and open the door yourself. He shuffles out like the sad, sad creature he is, and you lose sight of him.

Okay, Secily, time to take care of some children. You've got this. You're meant to act like a character you have no knowledge of, but you've got this.

You return to the playroom, sporting your best slouch and making a point to shuffle your feet on the way in.

Now that you have a moment alone, you quietly tell YVES to contact Necron.

===''[Choice Section]''===

====>Be Secily.====

At your command, YVES awakens and establishes a connection to your partner waiting just outside.

Thankfully, he answers almost immediately. 

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Hey-hey, what's the goss, bud? †}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 1.e4 Necron, good news. We're getting you inside. ...c5}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † No fake? That rocks! What's the plan, gimme the armament and I can comply. †}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 2.Nf3 No mechanical attachments necessary. Just keep a lookout for a troll in a Santa's Little Helper costume. We're smuggling you in. ...Nc6}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† That's righteous, Secily, you're a legend! ††}}

To your dismay, there's a little troll wandering toward you with a curious look. Shit, you think they heard you. Maybe you should have done this in the break area.

You clear your throat and deepen your voice, putting on the best Glomer impression you can muster.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 3.d4 (That is to say, uh, smuggling your trousers into my digestive tract, because I am Bart. I am eating your trousers. Run along, now.) ...cxd4}}

Your Glomer impression is piss poor.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † ... †}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Is this, like, code for something or...? †}}

''Shit.'' You can't lean away from your calling device when it's stuck to your ear at all times. You shoo the kid off with a wave before resuming your talk in hushed tones.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 4.Nxd4 No, I'm stuck grubsitting in a Bart costume. What could that possibly be code for? ...d6}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Hey, don't you reckon me not being able to wrap my head around it means it'd be good code? †}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 5.Nc3 Look, just. ...g6}}

This small child does not want to leave. They say something about a... "cowabunga"? Is that a thing Bart says?

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 6.Be3 (Mhm, yes, cowabunga to you too.) ...Bg7}}

You really should just end the conversation as quickly as possible, before this infant gets enough dirt on you to rat you out.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 7.Be2 Lusus costume leaving the caverns soon. I have to go. ...½-½}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Cowabung—? ††}}

''Click.''

Necron has all the information he needs, he'll be perfectly fine. You turn your attention to the child who is now climbing your leg.

As gently as you can, you scoop your hands underneath their tiny armpits and pry them off of your strangely proportioned puppet body. They are deposited back on the floor.

You give them a pat between the horns and walk off in the direction of a small whiteboard near the front of the room. That should tide them over for a second.

Oh no.

You freeze like a statue when you see Hamifi enter the room, a sleeping grub tucked in her arms and a... smile on her face?

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: I heard it was somebody's special day! Where's my little wriggling day hero?∞}}

She hands you the grub with immense care, who you instinctually take in your confused daze.

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: Don't drop them this time.∞}}

You stare, mute, as she wraps her arms around the boy who runs up to her in a warm hug.

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: Gosh, you've grown so much since I saw you last! Keep this up and you'll be taller than me before you know it.∞}}

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: Oh dear, I think it's already happening. You're growing up so fast!∞}}

There's a genuine, ''bright'' sparkle in her eyes as she lifts the kid high above her head, earning a chorus of giggles from the crowd as the "wriggling day hero" enjoys his newfound height.

You used to play with her and Sestro both, once. Not exactly in this manner — you were never the most externally excitable person, even around children. But similar enough for you to feel a sting behind your eyes. 

You don't remember the last time you've seen Hamifi smile like that.

You feel... upset. You feel a lot of things all at once, difficult to untangle. You feel like this was not meant for your eyes.

Is this what she wanted, when she was in their place? What she wished you could have been?

A hole swells inside you as you watch her, caught in a limbo of regret and deep, cutting affection.

The sound of a high-pitched yawn draws your attention to the infant in your arms. 

They are so small.

It suddenly hits you that you've never held a grub before. You became acquainted with Sestro and Hamifi after they'd pupated and left school, so this is a first for you.

Curiosity doesn't exactly strike you — it more gently rests a hand on your shoulder. 

The first thing grubs do when they're reduplicated is name themselves in the DENOMINATION LOGE. You can't help but wonder, though. Wonder if you could just...

Sort of. Guess?

=====''[Choice Section]''=====

======Guess name.======
[PLAYER INPUTS A GRUB NAME.]

[If playerGrubName is Arcjec, Voorat, Taz, Tazsia, Poemme, Albion, Shukra, Dismas, Mersiv, Murrit, Turkin, Laivan, Ferroo, Calder, Kerian, Serpaz, Helilo, Sova, Sovara, Amalie, Jentha, Briati:]

...

You are hit with the strange feeling that this name would lead to colossal misfortune. As such, you change your mind.


[If playerGrubName is Gaiaeon, Kheparia, Metatron, White Noise, Mimesis, Arch Nemesis, Zehanpuryu, Azbogah, Bathkol, Forcas, Gusion, Haniel, Lilith, Wormwood, Procel, Sorush, Jegudiel, Af:]

Do not play with fires you cannot control, Secily.


[If playerGrubName is Aumtzi, Maught, Weird Al, Hulk Hogan, Talald, Hieron, Pozzol, Broyer, Edolon, Vryche, Seinru, Narako:]

A shiver travels down your spine, unbidden. You immediately reconsider.


[If playerGrubName is Noxious:]

Absolutely the fuck not. The idea of naming a grub after that scumbag makes you want to throw up.


[If playerGrubName is Turnin, Kaikai:]

There are many a troll who would want their descendant named after Turnin Kaikai. You've never been one to follow that whole craze, though, so you think you'll refrain.


[If playerGrubName is Secily, Iopara:]

No. You would not place this burden on another person.


[If playerGrubName is Sestro, Enthal, Hamifi, Hekrix, Mshiri, Libeta, Oricka, Rourst, Yeshin, Laevis, Necron, Exmort, Ahlina, Robiad:]

...No. Too personal. Also kind of fucking weird?


[If playerGrubName is Ellsee, Raines, Occeus, Coliad, Bytcon, Krypto, Cadlys, Rankor, Sirage, Feltri, Husske, Mayzee, Rypite, Koldan, Crytum, Lydian, Sabine, Berare, Raurou, Dersal, Hayyan, Refero, Valtel, Gurtea, Cinare, Montor, Glomer, Hicner, Gerbat, Batrav, Endari, Vernir, Cretas, Mglina:]

You may have spent too many late nights reading the case files.


[IF THE NAME IS ACCEPTABLE]

[If playerGrubName is Austin, Austinado, Heather, Sparaze, Xam, Xamag, Dee, Kate, Kohi:]

[playerGrubName] has a nice ring to it. You nod, mentally high fiving yourself for such great taste in names.

-

[If playerGrubName is pragmaticNihilist:]

What a mouthful of a name. And pretentious, too. Nice one, Secily, you really know how to pick 'em.

-

[If playerGrubName is Charlie, Caloch:]

[playerGrubName] seems like an artistically pleasing name to you, despite art not really being your thing. It just clicks.

-

[If playerGrubName is Alien, Alienoid]:

[playerGrubName] starts babbling non-stop in your hands now that they're awake. Yeah, this name works, you think to yourself. You're taking the chattiness as agreement.

-

[If playerGrubName is Bart:]

Is it creepy if someone in a Bart costume assimilates an infant? Perhaps. Would it be on-brand with the show? Probably also yes.

There's a reason you don't watch television shows these days.

-

[If playerGrubName is Lup, Biscuit, Mocha, Peko, Tiny, Sneeze:]

You guess the grub's name to be [playerGrubName]. You're not sure why, but for the briefest of moments, you feel a pang of serenity.

-

[If playerGrubName is less than six characters:]

Deciding not to get too six-letter-formal about the occasion, you nickname the grub [playerGrubName].

-

[If playerGrubName is six characters or more:]

You guess that this grub's name is [playerGrubName]. You think it's fitting, but you admittedly don't know much about names or wordology.

-

[playerGrubName] gargles at you and wiggles their little feet, and you can't help but feel something tugging at your blood pusher. Seems like [playerGrubName] trusts you.

-

It feels kind of nice.

-

======Don't guess name.======

You decide not to try and guess the grub's name. This is just an excuse to divert your thoughts, anyway.

-

Hamifi finishes smothering the wriggling day kid with affection before standing back up.

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: I'll be taking our treasured guest back, now.∞}}

Grub safely tucked in her arms again, she speaks to the audience of children that seems to adore her to bits and pieces.

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: Behave yourselves, alright? I'll be back with a special treat soon. It rhymes with bake.∞}}

Her eyes crinkle at the corners.

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: I'm so proud of you all.∞}}

The kids erupt into excitement, more than happy about the notion of stuffing themselves full with pre-processed dessert. Hamifi waves them goodbye before turning to you.

Her tone immediately shifts to something more familiar to you.

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: Break room.∞}}

You can't refuse — not unless you want to completely blow your cover and waste a ''lot'' of time explaining a lot of things while under great (and angry) scrutiny. 

She opens the door and you follow, still feeling off-kilter.

You fear she may have already caught on to your identity, with the way she's staring not only daggers but entire chainsaws at you.

As soon as the door closes, her even tone is drenched into toxin.

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: Listen closely and don't make me repeat myself.∞}}

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: We keep a very strict schedule down here, optimised for developing children. I don't take kindly to chronological deviations.∞}}

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: And I ''especially'' don't take kindly to you coming down here and ruining our perfect system.∞}}

At this point, you're almost biting your tongue hard enough to bleed. If you so much as let out a breath out of turn, you know she'll drag you by the ear to exile, or worse.

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: You can mull your decisions over while you tend to some matters for me, Glomer.∞}}

A wave of relief washes over you. You stand more to attention, trying to seem obedient.

She gives you a funny look before continuing.

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: I need you to prepare one of the lowblood classrooms for the wriggling day party we're holding after recess. You'll be lent an accouchement golem to aid with cleaning.∞}}

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: Remember, accouchement golems are not toys. They are school assistants, caretakers of children and classrooms. They are not bodyguards to block the closet for you to nap in.∞}}

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: The banners are in the supply closet, as always. Every desktop should have a goodie bag and two napkins on the top left corner, and a plate in the center.∞}}

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: You are also required to prepare the cake. The instructions are on the box; they ''should'' be basic enough for even you to follow.∞}}

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: If you make another cake-related mistake and force us to order from Dersal again, you'll be hearing from '''The Principal.'''∞}}

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: You're already enough of a liability to the caste without having to bring in both of its busiest integrants for your next performance review.∞}}

Her eyes narrow into slits.

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: I suggest you fool around ''wisely'', if you must.∞}}

Hamifi continues to give you instructions in excruciating detail, speed and brutality. You're lucky enough to be able to absorb every last word, but you're a special case. Glomer, you'd imagine, is fucked.

By the time she finishes her laundry list of assignments, you get a very clear idea of why Glomer is so exhausted.

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: Are we clear?∞}}

You give her a neutral nod.

Now's usually the part where Hamifi gives you a neutral nod in return and vanishes into the darkness, but not this time. This time, she's pausing quite noticeably.

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: ...You seem awfully quiet. I do hope you're not sleeping on the job.∞}}

You shake your head. She still seems suspicious, eyeing you up and down.

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: Are you unwell? You're not yourself today. What's the meaning of this shift in attitude, hm?∞}}

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: One might call it downright suspect.∞}}

She's waiting for you to answer, which is really, really bad. Your mind is racing for an escape, but the emergency exit seems intent on fucking off into the distance.

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: Answer me when I'm talking to you. I don't have the time for games.∞}}

She leans in closer, as if trying to peer into your eyes through the mask. You lean back ever so slightly, panic starting to claw at you.

You—

''Beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep.''

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: ...∞}}

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: I believe I've told you to keep your personal device on silent, Glomer.∞}}

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: This call will be coming out of your next deposit.∞}}

You can't help but mouth a silent apology to Glomer. You know damn well this one doesn't care for any time off whatsoever.

She opens the door to leave, but not before getting one last word in.

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: Don't forget: you're on Corporate time and money. I would be very, very careful about wasting either in the 
future.∞}}

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: You're here forever, after all.∞}}

And then she's gone.

You sit in silence (minus insistent ringing) for a few seconds. This whole situation has given you a non-negligible amount of whiplash.

YVES is keen on interrupting your every attempt to introspect, however, so you accept the call to hiss at the other end of the line that you're preoccupied.

Just as you open your mouth, a big white dog costume walks in, very possibly with Necron in tow. Even more reason to shut your device up.

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [-o-] SECILY IOPARA—}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 1.d4 I'll call you back. ...Nf6}}

You hang up immediately.

-

[If you have not picked "Be the other guy."] yet]

''Minutes in the past, but not many...''

-

====Be the other guy.====

You are now NECRON EXMORT.

You've been doing your best to kill time out here, 'cause the last thing you'd ever do is ditch your new pal.

Unfortunately, it's starting to sink in just how much you ''blow'' at waiting. This is most certainly unexcellent.

You wonder if it'd be a bad call to go back to your truck and listen to some good ole classics. Takes just two notes to relish in the ancient history of Smash—

Oh, your palm pilot's goin' off (that’s what you call your phone because you get a major kick out of it). Secily must've not bitten the dust down there.

You pick up before the third beep can finish ringing.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Hey-hey, what's the goss, bud? †}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 1.e4 Necron, good news. We're getting you inside. ...c5}}
Aw, hell yes!

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † No fake? That rocks! What's the plan, gimme the armament and I can comply. †}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 2.Nf3 No mechanical attachments necessary. Just keep a lookout for a troll in a Santa's Little Helper costume. We're smuggling you in. ...Nc6}}

You knew you could count on her.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† That's righteous, Secily, you're a legend! ††}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 3.d4 (That is to say, uh, smuggling your trousers into my digestive tract, because I am Bart. I am eating your trousers. Run along, now.) ...cxd4}}

Say ''what'' now? You scratch the back of your neck, tryin' to puzzle this one out.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † ... †}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Is this, like, code for something or...? †}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 4.Nxd4 No, I'm stuck grubsitting in a Bart costume. What could that possibly be code for? ...d6}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Hey, don't you reckon me not being able to wrap my head around it means it'd be good code? †}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 5.Nc3 Look, just. ...g6}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 6.Be3 (Mhm, yes, cowabunga to you too.) ...Bg7}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 7.Be2 Lusus costume leaving the caverns soon. I have to go. ...½-½}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Cowabung—? ††}}

''Click.''

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † ...a? †}}

Well, that was a rousing match of good news, weird news. 'Least you don't have to keep twiddling your thumbs forever. Just a bit of a waiting game.

Which is... kinda what it was before, 'cept now it's a shorter one.

Let the record state, for the record, that you're not confused on the correct applications of cowabunga. You are intimately familiar with those.

Secily using it, though? Now THAT'S something that sounds a smidge out of character, you reckon. She might actually need your help if she's started spewing that sorta stuff.

Hm... The school is deffo capable of cognitive suggestion, 'cause it's how you all are raised. You did your own time with desensitization osmosis like any other fresh grub.

Ah, the memories of when you were stuffed into that dark industrial tank filled with numbing goo, so you could take a nap for a sweep and be psychologically spoonfed the rules of life and shit.

Before you can get too deep into your Secily Mind Control Theory, you catch the nearby golems spinnin' their gears about something.

That must be your in. You lean against your truck all smooth-like and psych yourself up to make a BANANAS first impression.

...Oh. Oh, ''wow.'' Man, Secily really was being literal. Which you should have kind of expected.

As soon as the fuckin' massive cloth barkbeast shuffles its way out of the guard's field of view, you give 'em a little wave. You totally fail to hide a snicker.

{{VE Quote|glomer|??????: aw fuck God daMn it dont tell Me ive just been punked}}

Well, "how do you do" to you too, dude.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Nope, fresh outta punks over here, sweetheart. As us professionals in the business say, this is legit. †}}

<nowiki>{{VE Quote|glomer|</nowiki>{{VE Quote|necron|??????: okay i Get why you werent allowed inside the caverns}}

<nowiki>{{VE Quote|glomer|</nowiki>{{VE Quote|necron|??????: you know besides the fact that you Most definitely dont fit the very strict criteria for entry in the sliGhtest}}

<nowiki>{{VE Quote|glomer|</nowiki>{{VE Quote|necron|??????: actually no not besides that fact at all thats the entire reason}}

''Yeouch.'' What's that bad mood for? Welp, no problemo no how. You try to give this cranky new person your most personable smile.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† I was told you'd be givin' me a grabfrond with that, some way or some how. Are you in or are you skin, my pal? ††}}

They exhale hard enough to physically deflate a little. Someone really woke up in the wrong recuperacoon today, huh.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: my pals a Great way to pronounce GloMer Good job Man keep doinG that}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: as for your OTHER Genius plan}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: Great idea just chanGe in front of the Guards because we all have the strateGic aptitude of actual children around here}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: i would know thats My whole GiG}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: cMon iM riskinG My entire lifes savinGs for this were hidinG soMewhere first}}

Cover, he says? You give the darling ride behind you a pat, almost overwhelmed with your usual truck-induced burst of affection.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Well, I'd say this about covers it, don'tcha think? †}}

Wait, fuck, ''damn it'' you shoulda said you had ''him'' covered. That would've been so much better. 

You stuff the idea inside your brain box for later, whenever this very specific set of circumstances crops up again. You never know.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † By the by, the name's Necron. Exmort. †}}

Your new buddy Glomer grumbles something real bitter-sounding under his breath as he circles around your truck. You pay his "enthusiasm" no mind and follow.

He's already zipping the whole shebang open for you to climb in. You appreciate the moxie, even if he's assigned you the ass region. Only fair, you suppose. You're kind of a stowaway here.

Guess it just goes to show you're a real ass-et. Or, hm. That you can really ass-ist him. There's a couple contenders rattlin' around in your head already, so you'll keep workshopping your inevitable one-liner.

You figure this is a good enough opportunity to bond with your brand new hero over here.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † So tell me, honey-bunch, how's it feel to be on a mission to save the world? †}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: what}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: ††† Well, I sure ain't tryin' to stir up trouble here! I wanna help, s'why I'm busting so much to get in. †††}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Secily an' me, we've been working hard to keep this place clear of bogus scum. Means a lot to us. ††}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: ††† I might not fancy myself an official Smokey, but I damn well feel copasetic 'bout leveling the playing field some. †††}}

You really can't help the grin on your face.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† So. How's it feel to be a part of history in the making? ††}}

The suit is all nice and sealed from the back at this point, so the two of you walk a lap or two around the perimeter, just to get you used to the movement mechanics.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: Man i dont know what to tell you besides wow look at how Much i dont care}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: do you know why iM GoinG throuGh all this trouble to sneak you in}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: its a break froM work. nothinG less and definitely not a sinGle thinG More}}

That's such a weird perspective. You don't dig the way he's unloading his cynicism at your feet and lightin' it all on fire. Makes you wanna stamp it out.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Man, Hoff, that's a little harsh. †}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† You not feeling that rush of righteousness flowin' through your blood roots? That higher calling patting you on the back? ††}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: i dont think you Get it}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: which is surprisinG since it feels like iM in the Majority when i say that this duMp is a huGe waste of fiGhtinG enerGy}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: like it sucks! its GarbaGe the whole way down the likes of which the black Moon is lucky to have better than us }}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: if this planet was a troll id kick theM riGht in the horns}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: ††† Then why don't you do something about it? †††}}

The two of you have been walking and talking in circles for a while. Glomer then takes a sharp turn left and starts to head towards the guards.

You shut your trap and give the man a moment to collect himself. He doesn't make a peep as the guards get to inspecting you.

There's a moment where you're real paranoid your horns are poking through the suit, but you don't hear any sirens or taser arms goin' off.

You both manage to walk inside, free as an avian.

...

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: because iM too tired}}

Woah, you weren't really expectin' him to pick that thread back up at this point.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: its a broken world anyway so any effort spent not coMplaininG about it is totally wasted iMqho}}

Your mouth twists in thought as you try with all your might to relate to this guy. At all.

...Nope. Nada. Zilch. Jack diddly doodly dick.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: you think that if i had it in Me to fiGht for My future id be stuck as haMifis personal errand boy?}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: and heres a biG newsflash: i actually did once upon a tiMe!}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: do you know how Much of My Grubhood i wasted tryinG to find literally any other option for Me??? the answer is More than youd like to know and More than i care to tell you}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: and it totally fucked Me over until the pheroMones of reality seeped in and turned Me into its forever bonded bitch}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: spent so Much of My life chasinG My dreaMs that i never even learned the jade stuff id be corralled into in the end}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: corporate Makes this biG stink about choosinG your path and it brutally punishes you for beinG naive enouGh to listen}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: i Mean okay did you hear about that scandal with the siMpsons writers}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † The what now? †}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: EXACTLY}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: there hasnt BEEN a siMpsons writer in SWEEPS because of the whole santas little helper incident}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Woah now, let's hop back for two secs, what's this about Santa?}}

He's obviously referring to Bart's lusus, the animal you're struttin' around imitating. That's the only Santa ''you've'' heard of, anyhoo.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: yeah santas little helper}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: slh was soMe MirthaManiac who storMed the writers rooM and held theM all hostaGe until he Got a siMpsons character naMed after hiM}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: Mostly lowblooded writinG staff}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: to avoid repeats they started workinG reMotely which turned to phoninG it in with Machine learninG and when a biG show cuts a corner like that everybody else follows}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: its neural networkinG takinG the wheel now and we havent seen a trolls interaction for probably lonGer than ive been kickinG around on this hellrock}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: so what if id wanted to be a writer really really badly}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: what if i was just hopinG with every ounce of My beinG to Get to write for tv only for one bad apple to ruin that chance for life}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: what then Mr. "just try hard and youll Get there"}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: as if theyd ever let a jadeblood stray froM "the planets sacred Mission" or whatever everyone was just huMorinG My feeble efforts to do anythinG that ''i'' Gave two craps about}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: then reality caMe crashinG down, they tapped Me on the shoulder and said about daMn tiMe, Good job GettinG your dreaMs deMolished now start teachinG the Grubs about pretext}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: nobody cared who i was before i sucked it up and put on the Mask so you know what}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: its not My fuckinG probleM}}

There's a very uncomfortable silence between you two, and not just because you're both creeping around the perimeter of the playroom in order to avoid the kids. 

Kind of a real buzzkill, this guy.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: ...thats My philosophy anyway}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: SOME of us Get to fuck off into the settinG suns with our fuckinG hotdoG plants and weed research and Make a livinG for theMselves doinG soMethinG MeaninGful}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: while iM stuck here GettinG barfed on by Grubs all niGht once iM done teachinG the kids i Mean FUCK}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: do you know how hard it is to Get a proper veGan Meal when you cant just set up shop in a God daMn swaMp??? Good luck GrowinG your own lunch in peewees neon fuckinG playrooM dipshit }}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: also your actinG dreaMs suck}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: enjoy havinG to be a level 5 veGan and only eat Meals that dont cast shadows because nobodys heard of veGGie haMs now do the funny bartMan dance aGain}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: (uGh. cant believe he Got to just skip town like that. un-fuckinG-believable)}}

Wowzers. That was sort of a real personal tirade just now, wasn't it.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† ...Can't dig everybody, I guess. ††}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: hey sMart Guy if youre Gonna play 24 questions with Me then heres My follow up:}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: how does it feel to know that youre inevitably GoinG to lose everythinG and that none of this is ever GoinG to have any value past this MoMent between us in our rancid Mutt sack}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: ††† What we have is more valuable than you could ever know, curly-cue. I can't stand the thought of just idly lettin' this place rot. †††}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: ††† Change doesn't come from inaction, I'll tell you that much. †††}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† And sure, I'll concede that nothing's a guarantee. Gods know I've wiped out more times than I can count, but... ††}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: ††† If— ''when'' I die, I'll still have left the world a better place than when I came in, because I gave a shit. †††}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †††† But I guess some people just don't understand. ††††}}

And that's all you have to say on that, because you're not here to bring him around to your way or seeing things or nothing.

Also because Glomer is wigging out and scrambling ahead like a bat outta hell. You almost trip over yourself trying to keep up with him, but soon enough he's cramming you both snug as fuck inside a closet.

He's clearly real uncomfy with your metal arm jabbing against his rib, but he's keeping his trap sealed ''tight.'' You show your appreciation by being very careful not to turn your hand into a chainsaw.

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: —Corporate time and money. I would be very, very careful about wasting both in the future.∞}}

{{VE Quote|hamifi|HAMIFI: You're here forever, after all.∞}}

Damn, that woman sounds like she means business. Enough business to ruin your life if she finds you here.

As soon as Hamifi is gone, you both walk back out, and you really wish you could see Glomer's arm reaching out of SLH's mouth to open the break room door from an outside perspective.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 1.d4 I'll call you back. ...Nf6}}

You catch the tail end of Secily hanging up on whoever it was that she was talkin' to. She seems ready to get down to business.

-

[If you have not picked "Be Secily." yet.]

''Minutes in the past, but not many...''

-
===[After picking both "Be Secily." and "Be the other guy."]===

[If you picked "Be secily." first.]

Secily, for convenient reference, is you, because your name is now SECILY IOPARA again.

-

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 22.Rxe4 Did you succeed, Glomer? ...Bf4}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † If by succeed you mean ole tiger here let me boogie on down to the schoolyard, then you can sign that off as a yeppers. Checkarooni, even. †}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: i dont think i need to answer that when he just said pretty Much the worst thinG ive ever heard in My Miserable excuse for a life}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 23.Rd1 Yes is a one-word sentence, you two. ...Bxe3}}

You immediately start to chuck your outfit, wanting out of it as soon as possible. Life, you're starting to realize, is comparable to a Bart Simpson costume.

Which is to say cramped, claustrophobic and kind of insufferable sometimes.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Okie-dokie! That's step one complete, right? Once we get to the database, it's smooth cruising? ††}}

The two of them get the picture and shuffle out of their costume as well. Now that you're inside and Hamifi is gone, you should be good to move around freely as long as you don't cause a ruckus.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 24.Kxe3 We still have a problem. I've yet to find someone useful who can direct us to the records room. ...Kc7}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: reGulator that hurts My feelinGs}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: was under the iMpression you worked better solo anyways}}

You'd bet your best blade that you have Bytcon to thank for that.

Necron finally untangles himself from the lower half of Bart's lusus, ten seconds past your personal threshold of second-hand embarrassment.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Hah! If she works better solo then she must be even more tubular than I give her credit for, 'cause she's a beast of a teammate as is. †}}

Huh.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 25.Red4 Touching. Glomer, I'm once again asking you if you can direct me to the records room. Are you ''sure'' you don't know of its location? ...Rf7}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: i dunno you know how iMportant My work here is}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: takinG care of snotnubbed brats or whatever}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: iM pretty busy lady }}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: i MiGht have been able to help you out }}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: if i was on break}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: buuuuut iM not so sounds like soMeones up the black creek without a paddle}}

Oh for crying out loud.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 26.Rf4 ''Fine.'' IF. You really do know, then take a break and lead. That does mean, though, that one of us will have to stay behind and cover to avoid stirring up suspicion. ...Rxf4}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 27.Kxf4 The children need to be supervised and entertained. I was thinking— ...Rf8+}}

Without blinking an eye, Necron beams and gives you a solid thumbs up before looking at Glomer.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Leave it to me! I’m almost one-hundo-percent sure I can be one BOSS grubsitter. Casanova here can leave his job in my capable hands. ††}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 28.Ke3 I wouldn't rush into this, Necron, there's a lot to consider— ...Kc6}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: no no hes Got this Give hiM the suit}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: the worst he could do is Get Me fired and excoMMunicated froM the faMily}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: assuMinG you have at least one think pan cell rattlinG around in there capable of sabotaGinG Me}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Nah, this pan cell's pretty much for lovin' my sweetum and enacting justice on evil only. ††}}

While there are probably better candidates for substitute work out there, you're willing to admit you maybe aren't one of them. Necron is friendly enough, at least.

You dutifully pass him the outfit and watch as he almost puts the head on backwards, before Glomer spins the mask around for him.

{{VE Quote|glomer|SECILY: 29.f4 Thank you, Necron. Glomer, you're with me. ...a5}}

Just before you follow Glomer out the door, you feel a tap on your shoulder.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: ††† I was being legit when I called you a killer partner. Wasn't blowin' smoke up your ass. †††}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: ††† You know that, right? †††}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 30.Rh1 I know. I said it was touching. ...Rg8}}

It wasn't a lie. Hearing him call you a partner, let alone a ''good'' one... it's reassuring. 

You guess you're just good at messing up your intended tone, as always.

You can tell Necron's got a relieved smile on his face behind the bulbous eyes of his mask as he extends his plush-covered hand to you.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Gnarly, couldn't letcha boogie off without knowing for certain. Call me when you can, Secily. ††}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 31.Kf3 Understood. Keep an ear out, partner. ...Rf8}}

The two of you exchange a firm handshake before parting ways.

The hallways are surprisingly dark as you stray further away from the schooling wing.

Whereas before a single pebble on the ground would be a rare sight, the walls are now starting to give way to natural rocky formations.

''[Investigation Progress bar appears.]''

You're so focused on not bumping into Glomer or the surrounding environment that you almost miss the INVESTIGATION PROGRESS BAR fading in on your visor.

It's been a while. You wonder where this thing was hiding all this time.

There's a number of curious rooms on your way to the primary objective. Accouchement golem charging stations, DNA storage facilities, a baffling amount of supply closets...

You almost walk right into a DENOMINATION LOGE before Glomer stops you from barging into the newly made grubs's initial testing.

He can't help but remark how {{VE Quote|glomer|everybody freaks out over this "monumental" occasion where they pick their name as if its not just the first random six letters they assemble with dumb blocks.}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|What's the big deal about them having six legs back when the mother grub bred them anyway,}} he erupts furiously, {{VE Quote|glomer|four limbs post-reduplication works just fine, and even better without those weird old scars we used to have.}}

He goes on for a while, even after you've dragged him away from the loge in question. He just likes complaining, you guess.

You eventually happen upon the REDUPLICATION RECORDS ROOM.


{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: hhhhhuh}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 32.Ke4 What's the matter? Does something seem strange to you about this scene? ...Rg8}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: well iGnorinG the fact that this is My first tiMe actually seeinG this place}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: iM not sure why the liGhts are off if this thinG is on}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: we are SO stinGy with the power here you have no idea}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: idk theres soMethinG funny about the systeM beinG on while nobodys around}}

Sure enough, the first thing that catches your eye in the dark, empty room is an illuminated computer screen. The second thing is the room itself.

Given Corporate's penchant for sleek aesthetics, you find the juxtaposition... You're not sure how you find it. Amusing? Intriguing? Suspicious? You'll decide later.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 33.Rh5 An oddity, but not an impossibility. ...Rg2}}
{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 34.a4 My question is how to gain access to the database. The computer is apparently after a password. ...Re2+}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: uM}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: yeah thats usually how they work}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: is this a dazzlinG new concept to you ACTUAL CHIEF REGULATOR}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 35.Kd3 I'd hoped it wouldn't be the case, but that might be Necron's wishful thinking rubbing off on me. I actually got on somebody's case for not having one not too far back. ...Rb2}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 36.Rb5 Anyway. Do you have valid login credentials? ...Rb1}}

Glomer shuffles over to the console, slower than molasses drips off a spoon, giving the screen a cold, hard stare.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: theres only one password for this thinG but uh}}

He clears his throat.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: they dont usually let Me in here so i dont know for certain}}

Great.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: dont Give Me that look reGulator i told you this is a first for Me}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: its probably on a post-it note or soMethinG we just need to do a little searchinG}}

The two of you start doing exactly that, sifting through various drawers and cabinets around the room and making a point to leave no stone unturned.

Three minutes pass before either of you speak.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 37.Ke4 This is unrelated to the task at hand, but I was wondering something. ...d6}}

GLOMER: cool

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 38.Kd4 You're being remarkably cooperative, all things considered. Even if you do not care for your position here, it's still quite the risk you're going through. Why is that? ...Re1}}

GLOMER: you Mean besides your shitty threats and tiMe off My shitjob

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 39.Kd3 So... that's it? ...Rh1}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: nnnnot exactly}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: i dunno}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: endari said you helped hiM out so}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: yeah}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: i Guess thats why}}

You blink in surprise. You suppose you did help his moirail. There's a beat of silence as you wait for him to elaborate, but he just drops the subject entirely.

A sudden "aha!" startles you out of your thoughts.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: Got it}}

You turn around just in time to see him being granted access to a frankly gargantuan wall of text and images.

He holds the unearthed note for you to glimpse, before tucking it back behind the chunky computer monitor.

''[IP bar fills by 10%]''

Well, well. He pulled through for you.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 40.Ke4 Nice find. ...Rh7}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: i know a coMputer Geek or two. Guess its just universal practice}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: or a real duMb coincidence}}

You don't know nearly enough about computer people to dispute him, so you're obliged to take his word on it.

You ring up Necron in order to tell him the good news. It takes a few seconds, but he's on the line soon enough.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † You've reached Simpson. Any hoopla on your way over or didja get by without any trouble? †}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 41.Kd4 We're in the database. Ready to start looking for Noxious. ...Rh1}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: ††† That's righteous!! We'll sic that bastard before you know it. †††}}

Failing to comprehend the sheer volume of information held within, you give the computer an uneasy look. It threatens to make you feel faint.

Thank the all-mother for Glomer's presence, because you have... no idea how to work this thing.

You gesture to the machine with your head and he leans down to grab the mouse. You squint as you analyze the window.

There are a few tabs on the top left: all, historic, new-age, unused, ''retired?'' You can't imagine what would be the point of storing deprecated sigils in a populace database.

There's a search bar in the top right. You suppose that's your best bet on finding a sigil related to "breaking down".

You peck at the keys one by one as you hear Necron entertain the kids through your speakers.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: iM riGht here you know }}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: like you just nonverbally asked Me to do this for you do you need Me or not}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 42.Ke4 Are you really going to complain about not having to do any work? ...Re1+}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: touché}}

One letter at a time, results are culled from the pool.

Sigil names like <u>b</u>ase and <u>b</u>asil. Sigils belonging to <u>br</u>onzebloods. Sigils held by the <u>Bre</u>lum bloodline.

Soon, you have one remaining search result. Glomer selects the sole choice presented.

===Your attention turns to...===

====Name.====

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 43.Kd3 Dissolve. ...Kc7}}

You say it aloud for Necron's benefit, more than anything else.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Heh, guess we finally dis-solved that mystery, huh? ††}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 44.Rh5 I will hang up on you. ...Kc6}}

GLOMER: (you chose this chucklebunker flop as your partner aGainst criMe??)

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 45.Rb5 (Glomer, shut the hell up before he hears you.) ...Rd1+}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Ah c'mon, lighten up! This is a WICKED breakthrough! We deserve to celebrate. ††}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 46.Ke2 This is a phone call. You don't know what face I'm making. ...Rb1}}

GLOMER: its true shes sMilinG so fuckinG hard dude trust Me

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Hah! I'll take your word for it. Now... †}}

''[Investigation Progress bar increments by 20%.]''

NECRON: † Tell me more. †

====Caste.====

It's hard to miss that this sigil belongs to a greenblood, considering this database is very conveniently color-coded. That alone narrows it down quite nicely.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 47.Kd3 Greenblooded. One with a hell of a personality fixation. ...Re1}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: oliveblooded actually. as opposed to like clover or ochre or soMe shit}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 48.Rh5 Do you care for the specific color code, Necron? ...Rf1}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † With all due respect, what the aych are we gonna do with the color code? †}}

Glomer looks at you, waiting for your response. You consider, then shake your head no. Hard pass.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 49.Rh6 I've memorized it. We can draw from that information later if we do end up requiring it. ...Rf3+}}

Glomer seems skeptical, but doesn't protest the point.

''[Investigation Progress bar increments by 20%.]''

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Tell me more. †}}

====Shape type.====

This classification has always been something you've paid close attention to, unlike most other people.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 50.Kc2 The shape type is SAN-2-C. This should be useful when asking for people who may have spotted Noxious. ...Re3}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: († ...Hey, hey you. Tyke with the face. SAN-2-C. What's the skinny on that? †)}}

He's... asking a child?

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 51.Rh8 Necron. ...d5}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Yeah? I mean, that is absolutely baller and all, but... Gonna level with you real quick, I don't have a single clue what that means in the slightest? ††}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: (if i wasnt runninG on 120 Minutes of sleep id lauGh)}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 52.cxd5+ It's a three-section system. Sans serif or serif, number of strokes, curled, straight, or amalgam. ...exd5}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 53.Rc8+ This sigil is sans serif, consists of two strokes, and it's primarily a curled sign. ...Kd6+}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: ††† Bwuh? †††}}

You don't know how to explain this in simpler terms when you're just being descriptive. This is frustrating.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: its shaped like a curly lower case f dude}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †† Oh, right on! That's a copy. ††}}

Hrm.

''[Investigation Progress bar increments by 15%.]''

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Tell me more. †}}

====Associated meanings.====

This subject is generally the wild card when it comes to information about sigils. Not every sigil has as pristine of a historical record as others — some have fallen into complete obscurity.

You don't know much about the topic, but you do know that sigils are connected directly to specific bloodlines, at least.

You skim the paragraph presented to you.

''The mark of dissolution, now shortened to "dissolve", represents the breaking down of matter, both physically and conceptually.''

Many bearers of this sigil were known to excel at teaching others, due to their skill at imparting knowledge through easily digestible lessons.

Their methods and intentions, however, were quite often incredibly controversial.

There are records of such bearers being chased out of communities as a result of their predisposition toward bringing destruction and upheaval, for better or for worse, wherever they set foot.

This is, of course, mostly anecdotal information that doesn't amount to anything substantial. 

Sigil meanings are a fun diversion some people enjoy discussing over cups of boiled Monster, but they are nothing more than empty expectations based on genetic coincidences.

If you cared about that, you would have given up a long time ago.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Hey, uh... you good? Doin' peachy? †}}

Oh. You forgot to say anything for a while there.

Glomer apparently took the opportunity to pass out on the desk for a spell, because he jolts back to life and wipes a little drool off of his mouth when Necron's voice pipes up from your speaker.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 54.Rd8+ As peachy as they come. I'm just being thorough, don't mind me. ...Kc6}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † C'mon, Secily! Don't leave me hanging over here. †}}

''[Investigation Progress bar increments by 15%.]''

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Tell me more. †}}

====Bearers.====

And that's your winning ticket. Your eyes immediately dart to the top of the list, where the most recent troll to bear this sigil is registered.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 55.Rc8+ ''Aumtzi Maught'' is officially our lead suspect. Eight sweeps old, male. ...Kd7+}}

Eight sweeps? ''Eight sweeps?''

Occeus is eight sweeps old. How the hell was Aumtzi able to play a meaningful role in a heist this elaborate?

You were expecting some old, retired mastermind with delusions of grandeur. Someone you could clash blades with on a neon rooftop or ruined bunker after this elaborate of a chase, and he turns out to be ''eight sweeps old?''

...You guess it'd be hypocritical of you to hold Occeus at gunpoint and then proceed to underestimate someone much more malicious and calculating.

Still. Eight sweeps. You feel very old and very tired.

You catch Necron murmuring the name under his breath a couple of times — first to familiarize himself, then to say it in utter contempt.

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: †††† ''Aumtzi.'' That wastoid is going down if it's the last card on my hand, mark my words. ††††}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: (hey secily iMaGine tryinG to take hiM seriously if you were seeinG what hes wearinG riGht now)}}

You flatly ignore Glomer snickering to himself as you consider your options.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 56.Rf8 The main problem lies in tracking him down and confirming that he is Noxious, without doubt. ...Kc6}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: ††† And if it is him, we'll do more than just give him a background check. †††}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 57.Rc8+ Yes. Together. ...Kd7+}}

''[Investigation Progress bar increments by 20%.]''

-

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 58.Rf8 That seems to be all there is. I'll talk to you soon. ...Rf3}}

{{VE Quote|necron|NECRON: † Tubular! Catch you on the flipside, partner. †}}

[After you have chosen all of the options]

''[Investigation Progress bar disappears.]''

As soon as you hang up, Glomer hisses at you, clinging to the desk like it's the only thing keeping him upright.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: alriGht you found your info thats Great now lets wrap this up before soMeone busts us}}

He is quick to retreat, out of his seat and around the corner in an instant. You can appreciate it — playing it safe is often the prudent option.

Something gives you pause, though.

You're not going to pretend not to realize the other thing you have the option of investigating while you're here. Your mind has been tossing the idea around since you walked into the room.

Glancing over your shoulder, you quietly hang back by the computer. 

You run a name search for Ellsee Raines.

...

Nothing. Not a single match, and you know damn well you're spelling her name correctly. The possibility of an alias runs through your mind, but if that was the case, why would she have kept "Raines"?

It's as if she wasn't ever reduplicated. The implications confound you.

You decide to check the retired sigils tab for any signs of her.

Your cursor hovers over each result as you read down the chain, looking for any familiar symbols or iconography.

The process takes you no longer than three minutes. You quickly find yourself in a rhythm, eyes darting between columns.

Scorvi Orvalt, cement. Grapha Hortze, rust. Langua Memori, bunsen. Thesal Voorat, salt.

You're halfway through the next name before you backtrack. You've seen it before. That's {{VE Quote|arcjec|The Forgiven's}} hatchname.

You've heard his tale: the right hand man and follower of {{VE Quote|ellsee|The Vivifier}}.

His original sigil has always been a mystery, though. So much so that seeing an actual symbol next to his name feels slightly uncomfortable.

Probably not as uncomfortable as he felt having it stripped from him, though.

You erase your search history and leave the scene exactly as you found it. You've much to think about.

Aumtzi. No record of Ellsee. The Voorat bloodline supposedly ending with Thesal and the simultaneous existence of another cornsyrup-hued friend of Occeus'. Time will tell how these threads converge.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: Geez lady keep an exhausted Mascot slave waitinG Much}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: alMost thouGht you ManaGed to die by yourself in an eMpty rooM}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: iMpaled on your own sword throuGh soMe brutal rube GolbrG shenaniGans}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: what took you}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 59.Rf6 I just forgot to log off, that's all. Where's Necron, is he still on duty? ...Kc7}}\

GLOMER: check for yourself iM not here to be your visual iMpairMent assistance lusus

He's almost right. Your VIAL is indeed somewhere else.

Looking through the window, you're greeted by the sight of "Bart" surrounded on all sides by the playroom kids, miming an undoubtedly "epic" story with boundless enthusiasm.

What's more impressive is that he's carrying a sleeping child with a single arm, the little one remaining unperturbed even with all of his exaggerated movements and loud voice.

They're all enthralled. You can pick up on faint laughter through the wall after he wraps his tale up, presumably with a cheesy pun.

You smirk, just a bit. He's much better with kids than you ever gave him credit for. Looks like you made a good call.

''Call.'' That reminds you, Sabine wanted to talk to you. You'll get back to him in a second. The kid's name brings a probable link between him and Glomer to mind.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 60.f5 You mentioned the name Crytum earlier. You're familiar with him? ...d4}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: wow okay so were just GoinG to ask that invasive and personal question out of the blue then alriGht}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 61.Rf8 Answer the question. ...Kd6}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: i was GettinG to it}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: yeah hes kind of My Matesprit yknow like red soulMate so itd be a really weird happenstance if i didnt know the Guy}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: whats it to you}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 62.f6 I require his expertise. You're going to take me to him at your earliest opportunity, convenient or otherwise. ...Ke6}}

You're met with yet another groan of aggravation. You're starting to think that's just his default reaction to being told what to do.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: Man you just LOVE to tell me iM GoinG to do thinGs no Matter if iM actually obliGated to do it or not}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: i Mean yeah iMportant case or whatever but i dont have shit to do with it and i hiGhly doubt he does either so what possible nonviolent Method could you use to convince Me}}

You had a funny feeling he'd ask that question. There's no smile when you answer, but you do feel the familiar comfort of knowing you're about to play the right card.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 63.Rb8 I can use this case to give you more time off work, as a matter of fact. But perhaps a sword would be more convincing. ...Rc3+}}

As predicted, Glomer's ears perk up. You can still see hesitation in his eyes, but you've managed to pierce his nigh-impenetrable wall of cynicism.

You fail to mention you were briefly considering ratting him out to Hamifi.

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: alriGht fine i can Make it happen}}

Perfect. Granted, you already know where Crytum lives thanks to your visit to Sabine's residence earlier, but having his matesprit's endorsement will help matters significantly.

You've heard tell that he's somewhat of a nervous wreck. Better safe than sorry.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 64.Kb2 Excellent. I'll touch base with you when I have further details. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a phone call to make. ...Rc6}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: yeah fine if hunkinator 5000 over there is content to do My job for Me ive Got soMe coMplete lack of sleep ive been not GettinG for the past blink to catch up on}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: ill be in the closet conteMplatinG My life choices if you need Me}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 65.Rd8 Oh, before I forget. Hamifi had some assignments for you to complete before— ...Kxf6}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: yeah yeah party planninG shit i know how it is}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: she always Gives Me instructions like three tiMes over because i act like iM not listeninG}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: when really}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: she just scares the shit out of Me}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: ill Get to it after iM done passinG out}}

{{VE Quote|glomer|GLOMER: be back in five}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 66.Rxd4 Whatever you say. ...½-½}}

You're pretty sure Glomer's not supposed to be napping inside the closet, but he sure is nonchalantly waltzing in anyway. You start to hear snoring a whopping ten seconds later.

You're equally unconvinced that five minutes will provide him any semblance of rest, but you've technically functioned on less, so what do you know?

Well, Necron's busy entertaining children and Glomer's out of commission. There's no better time to get back to Sabine. 

You give him a ring and keep an eye out for Hamifi through the break room window.

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [--o] ''SECILY ALETHEIA IOPARA.''}}

Did... did you just get assigned a middle name?

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [-o-] YOU HAVE SOME NERVE MAKING ME WAIT LIKE THIS, THREATENING TO WASTE MY VALUABLE AND PRECIOUS TIME.}}

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [-o-] YOU'RE LUCKY YOU YOURSELF ARE ALSO ON A MISSION TO RESCUE THIS PLANET FROM THE DREDGES OF DISASTER.}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 2.Nf3 Hello, Sabine. ...b6}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 3.e3 What was it that you just called me? Letheya? Leethya? ...Bb7}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 4.Bd3 How would you even spell it? There's no way that's only six letters, let alone near a relevant practice. ...d6}}

You don't want to say it, but the fact that middle names as a cultural norm haven't been around since long before you were hatched is perhaps a bit insulting.

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [-o-] IT'S OBVIOUSLY COOLER TO HAVE FAKE MIDDLE NAMES BREAK CONVENTION. DO YOU THINK I ENJOY PARTAKING IN FOOLISH TRADITIONS OTHER PEOPLE SET UP?? I MEAN, ''DUH???''}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 5.b3 Oh, I'm worthy of a ''cool'' fake middle name, then? ...Nbd7}}

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [o--] (I BEGRUDGINGLY ACCEPT YOU AS AN INDIVIDUAL WITH EQUAL INTELLECT. DON'T LET IT GET TO YOUR HEAD.)}}

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [o--] (YOU ARE PROBABLY NEARLY OLD ENOUGH FOR AN EIGHT-LETTER TITLE ANYWAY. OLD PERSON.)}}

As touched as you are, you've been at this for far too long and would love to just get to the point.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 6.Bb2 Is this pertaining to my neural scan? ...g6}}

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [-o-] ARE THERE OVER 1,200 UNIQUE RECORDED FORMS OF BACTERIAL INFECTION VIA FALLING RAINWATER?}}

You swear, nobody knows how to say a plain and simple "yes" these days.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 7.Nbd2 Talk to me. What were those individuals discussing back at the awards ceremony? ...Bg7}}

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [-o-] ABOUT THAT.}}

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [o--] (SEE, THERE WAS EXTREME INTERFERENCE THAT PREVENTED MY SOFTWARE FROM DECIPHERING ONE OF THE VOICES. THE DATA WAS PRETTY CORRUPTED.)}}

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [o--] (THIS STRONGLY SUGGESTS THAT THEY WERE USING SOME FORM OF VOICE MASKING OR MODULATION SYSTEM DESPITE BEING AT A PARTY?? SOME PEOPLE CAN BE SO FREAKING PARANOID.)}}

That sours your mood somewhat, but it at least strongly suggests that your little mystery caller — Aumtzi — had attended the party. Gods, it feels good to have this information.

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 8.Qe2 Tell me about the other voice, then. You sound like you managed to extrapolate something interesting. ...a5}}

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [-o-] NOT INCORRECT. THE INFORMANT APPEARS TO HAVE ACCESS TO SOME FORM OF REAL-TIME DATABASE, HAVING LOGON DETAILS THAT ALLOW HER TO MANEUVER THE SYSTEM FROM WITHIN.}}

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [-o-] SHE CLAIMS THAT HER PRICES WOULDN'T BE SO ASTRONOMICAL IF THE INFORMATION WASN'T SO LEGITIMATE.}}

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [-o-] THIS IS NO INSTANCE OF ILLEGAL ENTRANCE. THIS WOMAN HAS A CORPORATE SALARY.}}

Okay, you had a hunch that it was a Corporate employee this whole time, but you appreciate the confirmation regardless.

There's always the possibility of leaked login information, but you stay quiet, waiting for him to continue speaking.

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [o--] (UM, HELLO, REPITON TO REGULATOR. HELPING YOU SOLVE YOUR CASE HERE.)}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 9.O-O Of course. I simply wanted to have all the facts before I came to any conclusions. ...O-O}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 10.Rfd1 Was there any confirmation of the integrity of that route data? ...a4}}

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [-o-] WAS THERE EVER. THE OTHER PARTY BROUGHT UP QUITE THE IMPRESSIVE RESUME OF PREVIOUSLY LEAKED INFORMATION.}}

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [-o-] CRIMES TRACING BACK SWEEPS. HOWEVER MUCH FREE TIME YOU HAVE, I AM ABOUT TO ANNIHILATE IT MERCILESSLY AND GLEEFULLY.}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 11.a3 I'm all ears. Spare no detail, I'll look for common threads next time I have access to the records. ...Qe8}}

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [-o-] DOWN THE LIST THEN. CHRONOLOGICAL, ALPHABETICAL OR PRIORITY?}}

{{VE Quote|secily|SECILY: 12.b4 Chronological, obviously. ...e5}}

{{VE Quote|sabine|SABINE: [-o-] CORRECT ANSWER. LET'S START WITH THE "DOCTORED DEMENTO" SCANDAL...}}

END

==Cinare Montor==

[[Category:Transcript]]